Mike Malone used to get approached at conventions by newbies all the time. He complained that they all looked the same, and all wanted critiques of their book, but made endless excuses once he started tearing their work apart.

All the cartoons have a little explanatory paragraph. In this case, a Mike Malone was a notorious cheat. A tourist girl came in for a tattoo, she gave him her name and number, and he wrote it down in...